A Christian Funeral

I've just been to the funeral of a close friend's mum.
A Christian funeral is really very different from those traditional chinese funerals. For one, Christian funeral do not focus on the rites of passage, i.e. chanting to relieve the soul, etc.
As Christians, we are already saved by the blood of Christ, there is nothing else that we can do to attain our own salvation.
The funeral service was one that was unexpectedly meaningful. I never expected to be ministered by God during a funeral service, but yes, it did.
We were walked through some memories that the family members had with the deceased, sang some hymns and read the Word of God. Then the focus was shifted from the deceased to us who are alive.
In the face of death, how should we react? It is a good time to reflect on our own lives and be assured of the ultimate sacrifice of Christ.
Our time on earth pales in comparison to eternity. The stage of life is just a preparation for eternity. What are we going to do with our lives?

Come to think of it, when I die, I don't want my funeral to come to a waste. I want to see multitudes of people coming to know the love of Christ that day. :) Let it be an evangelistic funeral! hahaz

More than an attitude

Lifted from Shuyi's blog:
"But I know, that when I've prayed for something and it does not happen, it is good enough for me that You had it Your way. Yes, that You heard my prayer and in my best interest gave me what I needed. It was no accident."

This attitude I want to have towards prayer. More than an attitude in fact. Faith, the faith to continue to trust God's way in the instances of beneficial prayers which are unanswered.

Backslider

Something that I penned about a month ago:

Backslider

Shepherd
CL
UL
SDL
Backslider

Human
We all are
To fall
Never too hard

Disheartenment
Irresolution
BGR
The biggest slice

A guy
A girl
For your people

What folly
You said
Irresponsible no doubt

How is it possible?
You asked
At that level?
You would never

Testing
Complacency
You left

Your house
I strolled
Shepherd
Remember?

A time not long ago
Foolishness was this
Utterly unthinkable

Listen
Perchance
You’ll hear

The Father’s cry
My beloved child
Come back to Me


The poem reminded me that God's calling is irrevocable, once you take up the cross, there's no turning back, you have to finish the race. This is especially true for leaders, people who are chosen to lead God's flock. Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter. If you ever take up the call to lead, remember this.

We may be angered when someone close to us, serving together with us, leaves. It isn't wrong to have Godly anger, but we must look beyond that; God's forgiveness. The church as the body of Christ must not seek to condemn but to express grace and forgiveness.
The doors of Hope Church is always open.

Sim Card exchanged & more

Went to camp early in the morning at 7.20am , settled some stuff and left at 10am plus, for my medical appointment at TTSH. I arrived 15min earlier than my appointment time, but ended up waiting 1 hour and 20 min past my appointment time before I was able to see the doctor, for only 5min. The service for subsidised patients at TTSH is really poor. A frustrated woman went into the consultation room and shouted... Got some medication and a report of my allergy test, going to pass to my medical officer on Monday, hopefully he'll let me stay out.

Lunch time, wanted to eat, but decided to fast longer. Went to exchange my simcard, was forced to report lost instead to get a new one because exchanging a spoilt simcard need to pay $18. Then the staff said that my father had to be there just to get a new simcard, doesn't make much sense right? I managed to convinced them that I am the subscriber's son and got a new card, but i still have to fax in my dad's nric, or they'll cut off my line. I'm not even cancelling or subscribing to anything new... Singtel has really weird and redundant policies, that need to be fixed.
Finally broke fast 2pm plus, had a $8 BK meal, ate a mushroom swiss and a lamb burger.

I watched a documentary in the evening, about how a guy was paralysed after an accident and how he learned to live life again. I was particularly touched, by the part about how he came to know Christ and had a new meaning in life. He even mentioned God's healing power, that his neck was straightened after his water baptism. God is real, He isn't a figment of one's imagination.
I realised how fortunate I am to be able to serve God, with this physical body of mine. Definitely, there will be times of doubt, but I pray that I will always choose to walk His way.
I want to look to You always, not only in times of trouble. I want to bring revival to those around.

Sim card spoilt.

My simcard is spoilt, don't sms me for now...
Decided not to join the dance classes, as I'm unsure if i can folk out the time.
Busy day it has been, stressful one too.
Abstinence reminded me of God's presence in times like this.

No one can rob us the joy in Christ. I want to give thanks in every situation and see it as an opportunity, whatever it may be.

Day 2 - Tempting Food

The nasi lemak and orange punch looked really tempting. I resisted, being reminded again why I'm doing what im doing.
Tutored xiaoting and ate fattening macdonalds on top of my dinner though. hahaz
To xiaoting: Don't be disheartened. A B4 or better for Os is plausible.

Fasting- Day 1

Today, my cg commenced on a 21 days fasting and prayer.
I chose to fast from 1 meal today, but from tomorrow onwards I'll also fast from syrup drinks for all meals to continually remind me of God's presence in my life.

"Strength of Character" That is what God dropped me today. We must be the ones that people can rely on, someone who is strong, not just on our own, but because we root ourselves in God and His Word.

Prayer. It is really true that many Christians neglect this part of their walk with God. My prayer life too, though I won't say is neglected, is I feel, inadequate.
Through this fasting and praying, I hope to experience the power of intercession and see God moving in His ways. Prayer must not be something we do out of routine, but with absolute faith that prayer works. Not only interceding for requests, but I want to grow to have a continual prayer walk throughout the day, an endless conversation with the Lord, my Saviour & Redemer, my best friend.

Manual transmission

Just called my instructor and found out that he already booked for me a manual test. I'll learn manual then, not much of a choice.
I really need wisdom in time management now, and better coordination too.
Please help me pass the 1st time.

So many things, so little time.

There are just so many things that I want to do, yet so little time. With the bulk of my time given to the nation, there is little left for me to do the thousand and one things I have in mind.
My top priority will be the Kingdom. This must never change no matter how packed my schedule may be.
Next comes xiaoting, peter and rayson. Their Os/As are coming really soon, as their tutor, I really want to give them my best. Hopefully they'll do well.
Then comes my driving and dance lessons. I actually wanted sign up to join jinqi, eugene and ruisi for dance lessons, however on 2nd thought, my graduating students are more important. I'll leave this aside until Os/As are over. Then I'll start my driving lessons too. I've decided to take automatic transmission, though it's $28 per lesson compared to manual which is only $24. Overall, less lessons are required and it will be cheaper. Plus I don't have to spend so much time learning and I don't foresee myself driving a manual car. So this is a wiser choice.
Hopefully I will be able to cope with both the driving & dance lessons, as well as prepare for the Christmas harvest.
Father, please give me wisdom to manage my time better.

Surviving

Surviving - present continuous tense.
"I'm dying!" A statement more often heard than not, though no one really mean it literally.
In contrast to dying, surviving seems to exude optimism.
"I'm surviving." Something that I answered, recently, to people who asked me how I was. Lincoln too asked to be prayed for that he can survive through this period of his life.

On hindsight however, I come to realise that surviving isn't really healthy. It is the bare minimum of being a living thing. If you are not surviving, you are dying.
I don't want to just survive, I want to live.
The difference? Living involves a higher level of life, one with purpose and meaning.

I don't want to be just a surviving Christian, but one that is really living, full of zeal and vigor. Help me father.

Prayer

I realised that whenever I am asked for prayer requests, they usually revolve around my personal life, i.e. my health, my problems, my challenges, finding my personal things, etc. Not there is anything wrong with this. We should commit everything to God.

However I am reminded that as servant-leaders, one of our responsibilities is to intercede for our people. To cover them spiritually with prayers. Many atimes, we try our best to solve our sheep problems by giving them sound advice. That is good. But we must never forget to pray and ask God for His divine help.

Prayer is powerful. People can reject our help and advice, but they can never reject our prayers.

I want to pray for my caregroup for:
Our souls to be refreshed every single day, despite the circumstance.
Our zeal to be rekindled, especially for the great commission.
Our strength to be renewed, particularly for my brothers who have to go through tedious daily routines.
Our motives and purpose to be redefined, that we can see beyond the seemingly time-wasting period of our lives to be used greatly by God.

Death.

Artist: Casting crowns
Song: Who am I

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am.. I am Yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again.

Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am... I am Yours,
I am Yours.

I am Yours,
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours,
I am Yours.


Once again I'm reminded of this song.
I spoke with my sheep about death, being reminded once again that my life is like a flower quickly fading, similar to a wave tossed in the ocean, akin to a vapor in the wind.

Life is temporal. Death can come quickly and suddenly. The grim reaper is age-blind, oblivion to the deaths of children or centenarians. How then shall we approach death? Fear is innate, yet futile.

I want to be one who looks back on my life without regrets. The best of my youth committed to His kingdom and making a tangible difference in peoples' lives.

I will run the race. At the end of this race, when I meet my father, I hope to hear
"Well done, My good and faithful child."

Mediocrity

Average. Mediocre.
Blending in with the crowd. At times this is good, gets the attention away from you, gives you a space to breathe...
However when it comes to life in general, no one likes to be mediocre.
Imagine on your tombstone: Herein lies _______, who led a mediocre life, doing average things just like any other person on the street, now buried 6 feet under just like any other.
Of course no one would write such a thing on his own tombstone, but it's something to think about.

Especially when it comes to the Kingdom of God, are we just being average? Do we just go for service, say prayers, perhaps even caregroup , period. Some may feel that this is already doing alot more than what a "normal" Christian will do, sunday service, period. However, this definition of "normal" is based on the norm, standards of the world. What the Bible describes is one that is very different, in the Acts churches.
I'm not promoting extremism over here, but do we base our standards on the Word of God or that of our peers/politicians?
Shirley said it during our meeting on saturday, our enemy is average. We must never be comfortable and settle for the mediocre.
We must live dangerously for God. Not in the extremist way, but dangerous to the gates of hell. That the devil will be afraid of us. Afraid because there will be exponentially less joining him.

An attitude of excellence, we must have.
Be gone mediocrity, I will strive to be excellent in all I do, especially when it concerns Your Kingdom.

Sheep.

What does a shepherd do to an unresponsive sheep after trying for quite sometime? The two extremes: Give up or Cling on? I believe neither is the best answer. "Clinging on" seems like the model answer, however it isn't the wise thing to do. The shepherd will be drained over time.
Looking at the bible, at God's character, I found what i believe is the best way.
Like the story of the prodigal son: Take the 1st step and God will run to you.
Be available for that sheep, but let him take the initiative.
Let him know that you will always be available for him, if he desires.
It takes both hands to clap.

Lost my 11B

I lost my 11B a.k.a. NSF NRIC. In my camp's office. Yes in my camp. Sounds dumb. After area cleaning, I discovered it was gone. Not in my wallet nor in any of the computers' card readers. The penalty is $50 and I won't be able to access my work email for quite sometime, my chief will blast me. Please help pray for me that I'll find it...
God please help me find it when I return on Sunday night!

After Work

Went RC, and found NEE having a what I believe is a post-exams celebration. Good to see so many brothers I knew closely. Went N&B for tuition, saw a girl wearing the North East T-Shirt, but couldn't recognise her. Neither could xiaoting. Weird... how did she get the shirt & who is she? Hmmm... Never mind, I've got more important things to take care of.
Maybe I'll meet one of my sheep tomorrow or saturday morning...

Zero Welfare

My camp had zero welfare, and now it's in the negative range. No stay out unless approved by CO. And to add to that my chief clerk won't give me any off days for mugging so hard for the human resource test.

I thought I would be able to stay out once I manage to get a letter from TTSH next week, but no! They had to call up and cancel my appointment, because there were not enough doctors available that day! Worst still, postponing it to more than a month later! Can you believe it? A hospital cancelling their patient's appointment?! This is absurd. I'm going to call in again tomorrow and have a good chat with them, hopefully i can get an earlier date.

STRESS! It is a fallacy that admin life is good, at least in 1 Guards. So many problems, plus I haven't even taken over courses yet. NS exploits people. I'm even thinking of work during bed time!

God please give me the strength and metal stamina to carry on. I know this is a test. I shall overcome.

Camp STRESS

Things are really getting hectic in camp.
For the 1st time after BMT, I had a stand-by-bed. My locker was even criticised!(BMT didn't even bother that much about our personal locker...)
Many new responsibilities, as the ACC, im being arrowed to do everything.
Courses, a big headache yet to settle, planning of duties, survey for the entire battalion on thursday...
And the responsibility of tuitioning the graduating students...

Reminder: Must not neglect caregroup and sheep.
God help me to find peace in you, despite the overwhelming pressure.
Let be be consumed by Your presence, the mountaining stress is nothing compared to your greatness.

Child-like Excitement

Xiaoting is really like a little kid! She kept whining about not knowing what to study and how she didn’t manage to get her Jap magazine from Kinokuniya. In the middle of it, she was so excited about her Japanese idols, kept singing their praises and sent me 4 of their songs. Finally convinced her to study in the end.

It is amazing how God can use this seemingly time-wasting msn conversation to speak to me about something. During my bath just now, it just dawn on me and reminded me about our excitement for God. Xiaoting’s excitement to share about her Jap idols was so strong and vigorous, though I don’t even have a clue who they are. She was practically screaming in the conversation.
God impressed upon me: Why don’t I seem that excited about God, excited to share the gospel to the rest around me? I know I can’t possibly be going around screaming and shouting about Jesus at this point of my life, but do I have the desire? We tend to proclaim the things of the world that we like aloud with eagerness in sharing out interest and likes. But when it comes to Christ, even if we do it, it is rather subtle. Is it because that religion is a sensitive and touchy issue that we dare not voice out? Yes, but we must not let this hinder us from bring others to know Christ. As long as we have the desire in us, definitely there will be other ways to share about Him.
Lord increase in me the desire for your great commission.

1st Fresh post in my blog!

Passed my final theory test, cleared it in 25min, 1st one to come out. :p
However I have to wait till march for my driving practical L.

Sickness, it comes to all man. Today both my sheep and my cousin had headache. The 1st thing I did was to suggest to them to take panadol and take a nap. Tryphoza told me that she did, but her headache was persistent.
This reminded me of seeking God 1st in everything. Not that there is anything wrong to attempt using practical human methods to solve your problems, but we are 1st of all Christians. We must never leave out the God factor in our lives, if not how different then are we from those who do not know Him?

Greater confidence and assurance in God. Don’t turn to him only when there’s no other solution, but seek Him 1st always. Another area to grow in.

Before this blog...

Things I penned recently before I created this blog:


300905
Heavier workload, doctrinal testing, a change of shepherd, a tempting relationship, all together. Things sure come all at one go. I woke up with a headache and a bad dream, in which many of my brothers and sisters fell away, yet at the end of it, I was still praising God. Amazingly, when I woke up, I continued from my dream singing “Do you feel the mountains tremble.” God really spoke to be about humbling myself, I was in tears after I worship with the song “I Will”. A new perspective: There is something to be learned from everyone. Even if I am being put me under my ex-sheep, I will still serve You. For ultimately, I am serving the Lord God, not man. A humbling revelation, yet one that is very important and shows the character of a true servant; no longer with the leader word attached to it.
I will persevere on. I will.

081005
A satisfaction to just be a servant, yet yearning to be a servant-leader to extend God’s kingdom further. Not easy, but is it ideal? And is being a servant-leader the best way to extend His kingdom? Not necessary, but pastorally true.
Tired of desiring and waiting? Perhaps.
Overcome all these negative thoughts, I shall.
Lord give me the right attitude towards all these. I just want to serve.

Construction in progress

Please be patient.